| Jokes |
| Recognize |
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In a courtroom, a defendant was asked to stand in the dock. As soon as he took his position, he said directly to the judge, "I don t recognize this court!"
"And why is that?" asked the Judge.
The defendant replied, "Well, you seem to have decorated it since the last time I visited."
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| – Rajesh – |
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| Hyderabadi lingo |
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A mother in Hyderabad, India was talking to her son in typical Hyderabadi Hindi.
Mother: Tu kaiku rora? (Why are you crying?)
Son: Teacher maari merku. (The teacher hit me)
Mother: Kaiku maari re chudail ne? (Why did she hit you?)
Son: Kyonki mai usku murgi bola. (Because I called her a Hen)
Mom: Kaiku re?? (Why?)
Son: Kaiku bole toh, har exam mein anda deri merku. (Because she gave me a round egg in all the exams)
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| – Praveen – |
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| Razorback hogs |
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President Obama was back in Washington DC after a tour and as he got down from the helicopter in front of the White House, his staff noticed he was carrying 2 baby piglets, one under each arm.
The alert security guard salutes and says, "Nice pigs, Sir."
Obama replies, "You are mistaking them for pigs. These are genuine Razorback hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the other for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi."
The security guard salutes, and comments: "Brilliant trade, sir."
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| – Gopinath – |
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| Statistically speaking |
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Pete, a statistics student, while driving his car, had a habit of accelerating hard before arriving at any traffic junction, zoom past it, then slow down again once he had passed it.
One day, he gave a lift to an acquaintance, who was panic-stricken by Petes manner of driving, and asked him what made him hurry over the junctions.
Pete replied, "If you look at it statistically, you are far more prone to have an accident at a junction, so I ensure that I spend the least time there."
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| – Sampath – |
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| Lab experiment |
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On entering a lab, if you see an experiment, how will you determine which class it pertains to?
The answer is simple:
If it is green and wiggles, it has to be Biology.
If it stinks, it has to be Chemistry.
If it does not work, then you know its Physics.
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| – Vandana – |
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| Classroom |
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A geography teacher entered the class and the children greeted in chorus: “Good morning, sir.”
The Teacher greeted them back saying, “Good morning, students. Now where were we yesterday?”
A back-bencher promptly answered, “Right here in this classroom, sir.”
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| – sreedivya – |
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| Robots |
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In about 50 years, Robots will be doing most of the work which human do not like to do; especially illegal robots from Mexico.
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| – Anitha – |
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| Air traffic controllers |
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What do air traffic controllers and pilots have in common?
If a pilot does a goof-up, the pilot dies.
If Air Traffic Control does a goof-up, the pilot dies.
New Federal Aviation Administration motto:
We are not happy till you are not happy.
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| – chaityna – |
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| Light bulb jokes |
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How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
None, as they simply have a nursing assistant to do it.
As many as the doctor orders.
How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the bulb will have to spend five hours in the waiting room.
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| – Lavanya – |
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Yoh Yoh